Exception

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One She

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ONE SHE

Time wore the heel TIK! TIK! TIK!

Jan jumped to June; June joined July.

The salty drop drowned silently, TIP! TIP! TIP!

Cloud cries to the cruel cage.

Pity! Pity! oh beauty bird! break the bar,

Fly! Fly! oh gorgeous girl! go to the rainbow road.

Why pity oh pretty princess?

Have you seen the hell's flame? It's blue freedom.

Lady of purple pleasure, you have seen only the haven's tame,

You scare the dark, I have no fear.

Oh dear! Oh dear! come near!

See my face, look into my tear,

It's happier than your dry eye,

My smirk ark is larger than your forehead crease.

Then why petty oh pretty princess? 

Are you sure, you need no cure?

All i see is pain in your vein.

Oh lady! When you lift your heavy gown,

The beast me, I lift the chains in brown.

The maiden pains 'alta' on your gentle feet,

I carve crimson blood on my fettered feet.

The euphony of your sweet anklet,

Silently! I sabotage with the cacophony of my savage shackle.

The butterflies surround you,

I am my own firefly.

The swans swim around you,

I am a red sea Flamingo.

Your love burns like a fragrant candle,

My love is the violent volcano.

You love the moon from the grass,

I love the sun from the sheer space.

You live in daylight,

I die in dark night.

No good - No better!

O my sweet princess!

It's what you, that's all matter.

Two lips, Red & Wine.

One smile fade, another shine.   

My Hinduism

     Like Sashi Tharoor writes in his book "Why i am a Hindu", i also was  born to a Hindu family and started calling myself Hindu all along till my 'schoolgirl atheist phase'. I called myself Hindu just because i was introduced the concept of temple, prayer, a few chanting and few more this and that by my parents, which i believed is all about being a Hindu is. Then just like the most of us i also went through the phase when the schoolboy starts believing that science is real and is against spirituality. Fortunately i came across 'Swami Vivekanada's philosophy' that science and spirituality exists parallelly. Influenced by that philosophy i came to realize that how important the concept is, one can not understand spirituality without the help of science, or to be more accurate, only science can help us understand spirituality. I was told that there's a heaven somewhere beyond those clouds, now science tells me that there's a space and there's a possibility of existence of things which now seems unreal, like a parallel world or like a multiverse and many more which is unknown to human kind till the date. If there's any heaven, which in my vision is a collection of countless energies(which people call soul) at some place, only science can help us get any near of that truth, only the existence another dimension can explain all the 'angel and devil/good and evil'. So my point is, that science and spirituality completes each other.

    Why i suddenly started talking about science under the title of 'Hinduism'? I am not a scholar in any religion or in Hinduism so all that i am talking about is just my view on my believe. I do not have the knowledge about each any every religion but i know this much that Hinduism is a believe which have science embedded in it. No other believes that i have came across till the date has this much of science involved in it (pardon my lack of knowledge in Buddhism). If i allow my literature imagination, i see a few 'better than normal human beings' grouping together and having a discussion on spirituality and the ways it can be made understandable to normal human beings with the help of science. I hear them stating the core purpose, which is "the way of life". Why to bother about spirituality at the first place...and the answer is, to live your life in a certain way. Now comes the understatement which is "freedom to believe in your way of life", i know not of any other believes which gives you the freedom to choose if you wanna believe in god or not if you wanna belong to any religion or not. So rather then just accepting anything, you can actually use your reasonings, and finally choose the way you want to live your life. Based on this soul purpose, they then built the whole structure of Hinduism. Now when i said 'one have the right to choose the religion they want to belong in' what did i mean?  I simply mean that "Hinduism" is a believe and not a religion, and "Hindu is a religion" derived from that believe. So, as a Hindu i am free to choose in which source of energy i want to put my faith in, and that is the god i can worship, maybe that is the reason we have so many gods in our religion, god of money, god of rain, god of intelligence, and the list goes on and on. What if i as a Hindu want to put my faith in Jesus then? I can simply convert, i am no longer a "Hindu" by religion (because the two religions have their own different set of believes), but i can still be a "Hinduism" believer. Now again, what is the need of that? i am now a Christen simple right? What if I do believe that Jesus is the son of god, but my reasoning tells me that Adam and Eve were not the first creation of the god because dinosaurs extinct way before any human even came to existence (this is just an example, i am not here to deny anything of any religion). So as a Hinduism believer i can say that i am a Christen by religion and have my own set of believe in science as well. The only problem here is not all the religion accepts that, i will not be called a Christen until i believe in every word written in the Bible, but Hinduism never bound itself saying one has to belong in any religion, one can just be a believer, a believer who believes in the way he choose to live his life. 'Hinduism' is like an umbrella, and 'Hindu religion' is the handle which holds the most of it.

     I do not know if i am qualified enough to be called a Hindu, as there are many things that i do not agree with, just for an example- the hierarchy of caste. But i can proudly say that i am a Hinduism believer. I do not have all the knowledge of Vedas and Upanishads but with the little that i know i can say that Hinduism suggests scientific approach towards daily life and gives you the freedom to believe in your way of life. I can say that i do not belong to any religion and just a believer but that would be wrong as well. I believe in one supreme source of energy which i call "Shiva"(I don't mind people calling him/her/it with another name.), and i love most of  the Hindu religious approaches as well, mostly because of the scientifically explained reason behind them. Just as Shashi Tharoor writes it may be simply because of the geographical belonging. So after some analysis i can say that i am a Hindu by religion and a Hinduism believer.

    All that i said is my personal conclusion with what i came to know till the date. I may be wrong, and with time i may change my perception as well, but at least for now i have a clear understanding that why i call myself a Hindu and a Hinduism believer. I felt to write this article because there are many people who just belong to a certain religion and say that they know all about their religion and god. It is actually funny that how people claim to know what is impossible to know in one entire human life. Studying the papers and knowing the rules is not "understanding", one need to analyze, raise questions and then finally conclude their understandings. If there is any god, trust me a mere human who can't even understand another dimension, simply do not possess the capability to understand the god. At least a normal human like me can never know it all, all i can do is try to get as near as i can to the truth. 

    

A real dream

The poem recite is here:
 

                

The poem:

A REAL DREAM

O darling! I dreamt of you last night...

     We love a little, then we fight...

You cooked me burnt rice...

It tasted bitter, but it felt nice....

You woke up on the weekend late...

I got mad, but then it fade...

We had a lazy lunch on our cozy couch...

We had a delicious dinner on our delicate date...

I sat on your lap! Your humble kisses went with the flow...

The world took a nap! the time turned slow...

The moment, we lived our love for a million lives...

The night was dark and cold...

But starts were bright and bold...

The world fell deep asleep...

When we made our memories to keep...

The time accelerated again...

A day passed, a month, passed a few rain...

We love a little and then, we fight again...

Every night i slept a sleep of a sleeping beauty...

One kiss to wake me, became your daily duty...

Amongst all the scary nightmare...

You were my only sweet dream...

Tell me the truth, O darling! i give you the dare...

Am i real awake in my long dream?

Or dreaming long in my real sleep?

It's too dreamy for a real, It's too real for a dream...

Again! O darling! i dreamt of last night...

Thank you.

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Agnipath

It is such a coincidence that just few days ago i was wondering that what is wrong with our new generation, how come we all are sinking deep in depression. There may be a lot of reasons for that but what i noticed from my small circle of people is that we have lost both the reason and the reasoning. As an Indian child there are a few things which i would like to point out here........

 There are two type of new generations we have in India right now. 

First- people born before 2k.....Second- Children...i mean people born after 2k(sarcasm)

First category----

Never had the chance to choose for themselves. Mostly parent choose what they felt is the best for their child especially in education. And those who had the chance to choose had the family environment pressure which ultimately led them to the same path which was actually chosen by parents. As a result, it took years to realize what they actually want to do, but now it's too late...for either to do what they want or because of the responsibility that age brings with itself. The only place left for them to go is depression now. 

As for those 1% people who REALLY had the choice are now in the darkest phase of depression...i mean imagine being a 24yr's engineer and watching a 15yr kid making more money than you with (welcome to my channel.... today we will review some latest reel trends....), i am not even in this category but it feels tiny bit unfair (i am not accusing anybody here it's the way things turned out with the incoming technology). 

Second category----

Had so damn much freedom that became useless. They learned the world before their brain was developed enough to understand and reason it. They learned that K-pop is cool but did not learn that showoff is not. They learned that fame makes you star but did not learn that potential makes you great. They learned that money is important but did not learn that pleasure and happiness are different things. The technology did them wrong and today they all are inside it, captured. When you had a long day living both the lives of internet and practical... you do not have left with the energy to think...about yourself about life about environment about politics about religion about purpose of living on about the person sitting next to you...that's our youth...tired.

What's done cannot be undone... right?? but we need to do something, it's not okay...to make a celeb your god, to troll the shit out of someone because you happen to not like it(criticism is different i am talking about haters here), to be so unskilled that you have to be insecure for your further living, to not care about anything beside you...and so on.

I was wondering that how things can be done better, how can a person find the purpose of life or understand the value of other's life, how can you make people to think more. (Well i am a literature student so yeah i do wonder about this stuff.)

Just if India also had a rule of serving in army for few years, they will at least get to know the value of life. They will understand how important it is to be aware of your surroundings. They will have the discipline so that can make them a bit polite. They will be aware that a soldiers, doctors, teachers should have more respect than a celeb or a rich man, that "fame" is not all, and it can vanish in a blink so do not run after it. The world won't be perfect with just one move, but it can make people more mature.

Then i saw the news...the problem is that i did not consider the fact that people do not like to work hard. India is not the country you can just try and apply a new thing. We want comfort...we want a government which gives everything for free...food...electricity...job... If a government says that i'll make you work hard and make you strong enough so you will be able to 'urn' your food... your electricity... your job, then we do not want that government. I mean c'mmon people even vote for one bottle of alcohol sometimes. Youth want security...job vacancies... they do not care if they are skilled enough or not( i am not talking about everyone here, just those people who got the degree and still are an empty vessel). So, if you come and say that work hard with us, we will make you so strong that you'll be able to apply for any job plus you'll get mentally strong. I don't know if the youth wats it, 'coz this is no 'promised' job. Development is one thing and security is another. (Again, i am not talking about candidates who are facing age problem because of unfair circumstances.) 

Changes can be brought but it is such a hard and slow process.

ps: no i am not a Modi fan, and even though i wish i had been paid to write this, i have not.

    

SATH

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Amidst the mist

Let me know how did you like it, also if you liked my work please do support me. Every like, every comment, every remark helps me mump up and go on. Thank you very much for your time.

 The entire war is so upsetting, no one wants a war. We all want this to stop, but sometimes we feel powerless and sometime it's hard to even express ourselves. I am the same, it's hard to put the words together when a part of world is dying. The other day i saw a meme and it sank deep in my heart...

I might be selfish to just write what my heart wanted me to...forgive me people. Just one day if i really become capable of...i'll write what i should.  

The Role Play

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I'm in love...with my grief

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Black ink

 

 

 I...i...i am holding my my mother's hand and walking beside her... yes...it is her... I... my... oh my... i'm so happy... i can cry the happy tears, the tiny me! haha...! It's so funny... how tiny i was, whatever! I can forget all and be beside my mother, i can touch her, the worth of her hand melting my pain away... I am happy... i want to keep smiling...no actually i want to laugh all my joy out.

   My mom took me to the lake, i haven't seen anything so beautiful in my entire life, beautiful blue-white sky, and then this white water fall, looks like pure milk coming down the hill, then come this crystal-clear water... how can something be so pure? i can see the pebble down the water...so many of them...so colourful!! mom left my hand and sat on a rock, she looked at me and smiled...my heart feels so happy...it's complete...it's satisfied. I kissed mom's cheek and went to the water, i put my feet in...so cold and refreshing... I desire for nothing else in my life... I inhaled the pure oxygen till my lungs are puffed out, and close my eyes. I am happy to my death now. 

   I opened my eyes...my mother is gone... What???  she is gone?? "mooomm" my heart is crying for her right now. Wait...i am not tiny anymore...i grew in a blink of an eye... there is no blue-white sky anymore... it's black cloud now... everything's black now...everywhere it black n white... no colour exist anymore. Wait...the pebbles? there is no pebble that i can see...i can't see what's under this black water...wait...it's not water... what is this liquid? I am moving down...i cannot feel the ground...what is this??? someone help!!!! I can't swim!!!! someone!!!! Is it black ink???? I am sinking...man i can't swim... I'll die... SOMEONE!!! ANYONE!!!! please come!!! oh right! I am no Disney Princess that a prince will come swimming to take my hand and save me...it's not a fancy fairy tail. 

   I kept sinking down n down...i do not know how deep i have to keep the drowning...i can't hold my breath anymore...my lungs are going to burst out. I lets go the last little oxygen that i had left...i inhaled the ink... man it's burning... the pain is beyond my bear points. I cannot take it anymore. 

   If i am to die...i want a quick death...i want to die...i want to die...i want to die... what is that this feeling? I don't like it, why did not i die?  why am i still alive? i feel like an empty shell. Is there absolutely nothing inside me? not a single thing? is it the land? did i reach the rock bottom? Newton's third law right! If I push the ground with a certain force, and ground will push me back with the same force. So i just have to hit the ground with the force enough to cut the surface tension, and i can be out of this black ink ocean... Right! it worked...i am out now. I am out in the world...people..people.. people..everywhere there's people... lights, roads, cars and people... schools, offices, houses and people... fridges, coolers, stoves and people... There's no end to this world...I feel like laughing, there's nothing funny, but i cannot stop laughing...i just can't stop laughing...how is it possible?  the world is full of 'this' or 'that'... still i am totally empty...i cannot stop laughing... I took a deep breath and tear roll down my cheek... everything feels worthless...i see no point... no destination to reach...no path to follow... no one to love. All i have is an 'Empty shell'. I want to go away from here, i do not want to be here...i just want to want to fly somewhere other than this land. 

   I am really flying...but how?? how...these wings??? when did i grow these?? the black feathered wings...it looks so gorgeous. I plugged out one feather, there's ink in the tip...what??? am i suppose to write something with this?? Whatever! I just want to fly higher and higher... yeah!!! this is good...now i can see the world from here...what now???? Oh!! Right, my feathers...i can write...so i WILL write...i will write till my last father...so that i never have to go back...I will write and write and i will keep writing.... 

Evenings

One world one sky one person still it's so different....

One is haven... 

One is hell...

A piece of land

 

A piece of land

I want a piece of land of peace...

Where no border exist, where no bow-order exist... 

Where there is no limit to my limits... 

Where i do not breathe the bear it... 

A piece of land of peace... 

Where i can find the piece of mind of peace... 

Where i can find the freedom with no fear-doom... 

Where i, the women, can see the sea alone... 

Where the knights in night seem useless... 

A piece of land of peace... 

Where i can make my piece of world of peace... 

I just want a piece of land of peace...

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