THE GOLDFISH BOWL

        "Change is the only constant thing," said Einstein. So, I accepted the change, the change in things in our relationship. Love is all that matters right? It's been 3 weeks without sex, yeah! that happens sometimes. I planned a dinner date; I know how to make him happy. But my periods got earlier this month, cramps are not heavy, but my back is hurting quite a lot. I'm just waiting for him to come home to whine like a baby. Finally, he came "hi bebe" I greeted with a kiss, "hey love" he replied kissing me back. "Sorry, 5 more days." I whispered to him. "Don't be sorry! it's okay." he said with a smile. An unfamiliar smile, I don't recognize that smile, it's a stranger to me. We ate dinner watching TV, we head to bed, after a few tap-taps on phone and a few twists and turns he fell asleep. A night where we were supposed to be awake for few more hours ended early. 

         I turned to the opposite side; I saw the goldfish bowl which he had gifted me on our second date. Five years she survived and according to the internet she has more years to live. But I know something is wrong with her and she is going to die sooner, way sooner. 

        I couldn't sleep, I am still gazing at the fish. She is restless and I don't know how, but I am feeling the same. I am feeling exactly the same, It's not similar, it's same. I turned my side, and his back was breathing on my face. I felt a knot in my throat, like a giant python wrapped all around my body, trying hard to crush my bones, to choke me. Breathing was so hard. I desperately needed some oxygen, it keeps you alive, you need oxygen, so with a great struggle I breathed an amount of air. 

        I got up all wrapped in pain, pain in my back, pain in my heart, pain in my brain, pain in my thought. I packed a few things, cloths, money, brush, underpants, things like that. Picked my goldfish bowl and walked to the door. I turned to the house, 'Oh walls, did you ever love me?' I asked. My eyes pooled with water. I walked out and kept walking, walked more and kept walking, I don't know what else to do. I felt weak so, I stopped walking. The bowl slipped off my hand. My goldfish bowl broke. 'Did I kill you? or was it just an accident?' I asked the dying, No! the struggling to live fish. She died soon; sooner than I had thought she would die in.