floor, me sitting in the middle of this mess trying to clean everything up, i pick one piece up and another slides down back to the floor, now it's frustrating, it's making me want to cry, cry real loud. I want to scream my lungs out and tell people that it hurts, it's extreme pain, it feels like the crushed part of my heart is falling off of it leaving the destroyed heart bleeding and the process of crushing and falling off goes on and on.
I thought it's loneliness but i'm still alone in the middle of my family. I thought love will bring me out of this hell, but the love fail only pushed me deeper. 4 hours now, i am still sitting on the floor. My eyes stuck on the broken piece of wine glass, constant gaze on it took me to the void. I am not crying, sitting calm instead there's no violence anymore. I feel like void, nothing nowhere, no thought crossing my mind, no sense responding, no any feeling in my body. I am free from everything, from every emotion from every force, i am falling freely, deep in dark, like a chicken wing in the air, i am falling deeper and deeper and deeper....
I jumped on my heart from the alarm clock ring, my heart racing like a horse, taking enough time to let realization hit me i took a long breathe. Taking a long hot bath i got dressed for the new day. Before leaving i went to take a final glimpse of myself in the mirror. Thickening my eyeliner i smiled at my reflection. People should notice only my dark eyeliner not my dark soul.
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